wow! who knew that so many were waiting with bated breath for me to post again. it is true, i have been running. it's been a bit less scheduled then before when i began this journey. my life schedule has been hectic and i've had to really make a concerted effort to get out and run. when i get home from work i only have about 1 hr of light left and although i don't mind running in the dark i like to get started before the sun goes down. it's all mental and makes no sense...i know.
so here's all that's happened in the last month. i officially made it the distance. 3.18 miles completed this past tuesday in 40:30. the time is merely a benchmark and i remind all that are also trying this along with me that time should not be measured unless you can handle it. here's why...
i spent the better part of september rather frustrated with this whole thing. i was finding reasons to not run and i was disappointed after every run. there was no progress that i could see or measure. i run with britt and he was super frustrated with me. we sat down and talked about what was different or what why it was so tough. remember this summer when it was so hot you could barely breath sitting in your car with the air on? this was worst... we came to the conclusion that we had different expectations out of the runs and we were not on the same page. he was coming from coaching soccer and was in a very competitive mind set and i am not viewing this as a competition. as a coach myself i totally understood his thinking and we were able to regroup and refocus what our runs were going to be. i can't say it's not ever frustrating any more, but i know now that he is totally on my side and that his words are encouraging. i'm able to push myself harder now because progress is still a large part of my goal. but i ultimately had to let go of the time so i could use it to measure my progress.
so let's talk progress. i have tried something new. all in the spirit of getting out there and experiencing life. britt and i went mountain biking today. he really wanted to try it and found a trail really close to us. i was nervous but game. i can honestly say that had i not been running the last few months there is no way i would have been able to even think of doing this with britt. i am so glad that i have made the decision to open up my opportunities. it was very difficult and there were moments when i needed to stop and rest or walk or whine... but i got through it. i used muscles today that i didn't know i had. i could tell my legs were strong enough to handle it though and that made me feel really good. it was the unknown that gave me such an adrenaline rush. not something that i'm used to. not something that i'm comfortable with. pushing myself out of my comfort zone was the whole purpose of this mission to begin with.
i have seen progress in every day things as well. this idea that it doesn't matter how long it takes to get there, it's the getting there that matters. every time i get out there i have the opportunity to get there. it's a mindset that drives me and settles me every day.
only 3 weeks til the 5k. i'm getting very excited and yet the unknown makes my heart beat when i think about it. it won't just be me and britt running on the trail in the dark with no one around and no one to say "who's the big girl pretending to run". instead it will be hundreds of people all staring. or will it be like today... a community of people all running in the same direction just to get there. in 3 weeks i have the opportunity to find out...
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