well, i ran my race. i have to say it was not at all what i expected!!! this whole time i've been training i have had it in my mind that all this practice and all this hard work was going to make for an easy run today. boy was i wrong!! it was really hard... i had to fight for every bit of that run this morning.
i started off feeling pretty excited. everyone was pumped up and super happy to be out there. there were high fives and shouts of encouragement all along the start. then of course the crazy runners broke off and the walkers and beginners started to move into their pace. britt kept asking me if i was ok and i thought that i was but i got tired pretty quickly.
we rounded the first corner and i realized that i was breathing pretty hard and i was pooped. britt was getting frustrated because i was going rather slow. he said that it was slower than our usual pace and i immediately got upset. i then could not calm myself down to save my life.
then came the worst thing ever... HILLS! the guy that told me about this event was specific that there was no hills. BULL SHIT! there was one that lasted for almost a quarter mile. it sucked.
the first time i ran the 5k in training, i panicked for several reasons. 1-it was a blind run. once i got past the half way point and realized that i have worked so hard and now have to go back i totally freaked out. 2-i couldn't find a rhythm. 3-no matter what britt said to me to try to get me thru it i took it as an attack and i just wanted to fight him. 4-my emotions got the best of me and i couldn't rationalize anything. all the above lead to me just fatiguing way too fast and having to struggle thru the whole thing.
this morning i did the exact same thing. i was lost cuz there were no mile markers. i had no clue where i was or how far i had to go. the course map was not laid out so great at registration so i didn't know what to expect. my mind kept playing tricks on me and i had trouble focusing. once that set in, i couldn't listen to britt. i knew he was frustrated and everything he said to me was the wrong thing... that's not fair to him cuz he was trying so hard to lift me up. (sorry babe!!)
all in all, the hardest part was all mental!
so where does this leave me? well, i crossed the finish line. i pushed all the way even though my legs felt like they weren't moving. 39:20... my best time yet. hills and all i made it across that line with an acceptable time.
4 months ago when i began this journey i would have never thought that i could do this. 4 months ago i was worried about increasing my intervals to 5 min let alone running for 39:20. 4 months ago i didn't know what it meant to push myself through fatigue and mental ambush to finish something that not everybody can do. what were my reasons for doing this? oh ya, because i can... well today, i did...
here's to the next opportunity!!!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
2 days left...
well, run31 fans the 5k is on saturday and i only have one run left before the big day. i find it pretty amazing every time i run how far i've come. i hit a mile marker and i think, "wow, i used to be dying here" or "it used to take me twice as long to get to this point"... how i've improved. but this saturday will be the true test. i'm so unsure of what to expect. what's the course going to be like? how cold is it going to be? what should i wear so that i'm comfortable and not distracted? how early should i get there? aaaahhhh.... it's just another day on the pavement... right?
it's very gratifying to think how far i've come. i really didn't think that i would make it to this point. i was sure that i would either throw in the towel or never even be able to run an entire 5k. now i find myself craving the runs. on nice days i think of how much i want to get out there and go. i crave the outdoors. there are certain points on my normal course where the scents change. some not so nice... but others are amazing. the flowers, the animals, the sunsets... and some evenings the moon... last week we ran a 5k by the light of the moon. britt forgot his watch and there was no way to tell how i was doing. it didn't matter... the run was awesome! those are runs i crave...
on the nites when its difficult, i've been able to learn how to stay calm and focus. my goal for saturday is to do just that. i have to remember not to get caught up in the excitement and pace myself. i've started to understand what that means so that i can push the last half mile pretty good. i know what my best training times have been so i'm hoping to at least match those.
thursday i have one more run then my plan for friday is a long and relaxed yoga session. i've been kinda sore this week and my runs haven't been stellar. i'll do a mild taper just so that i'm fresh on the day of. sleep has been a big factor this week. just can't seem to get enough... so hopefully the rest of the week improves...
wish me luck ... i'll post pics!!!
it's very gratifying to think how far i've come. i really didn't think that i would make it to this point. i was sure that i would either throw in the towel or never even be able to run an entire 5k. now i find myself craving the runs. on nice days i think of how much i want to get out there and go. i crave the outdoors. there are certain points on my normal course where the scents change. some not so nice... but others are amazing. the flowers, the animals, the sunsets... and some evenings the moon... last week we ran a 5k by the light of the moon. britt forgot his watch and there was no way to tell how i was doing. it didn't matter... the run was awesome! those are runs i crave...
on the nites when its difficult, i've been able to learn how to stay calm and focus. my goal for saturday is to do just that. i have to remember not to get caught up in the excitement and pace myself. i've started to understand what that means so that i can push the last half mile pretty good. i know what my best training times have been so i'm hoping to at least match those.
thursday i have one more run then my plan for friday is a long and relaxed yoga session. i've been kinda sore this week and my runs haven't been stellar. i'll do a mild taper just so that i'm fresh on the day of. sleep has been a big factor this week. just can't seem to get enough... so hopefully the rest of the week improves...
wish me luck ... i'll post pics!!!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
32:00....hello i'm improving!!
i said in the last post that i was working on letting go of time in order to be able to measure my progress... well tonite was certainly progress. i decided that sense i ran 3.18 miles on tuesday i was going to drop back the distance tonite to 2.65 and push it a little harder and try to improve my time from last week. my best time on the shorter distance was 34:08. tonite i ran that distance in 32 min flat...
so far this week has been a major success. not only did i run another 3.18 miles on tuesday and drop 35 seconds, i approached it with a much different mindset and was able to accomplish a huge goal. the first time i ran the 5k i had a total melt down at the half way point. i got to that rock and realized i had worked so hard to get there and now i have to go all the way back. that did not sit well with me and i panicked. so this last time i just wanted to get through it as relaxed as possible. i decided that i was only going to focus on what i was doing at that given moment. i was not going to look ahead with a sense of completion until i got to the end. it doesn't matter how i got there, just that i got there. each breath was necessary to fuel my legs with the energy to keep moving. each half mile i completed was another step closer to the goal but it only matter what i had completed up to that point.
i got to the end of the run and britt told me that i had dropped 35 seconds. what a sense of accomplishment. i had managed to stay calm and focused and get to the end and improve. awesome...
so tonite i lacked a bit of energy so i decided to back off my distance to get a win under my belt. i was tight and sore from tuesday. i completed my first mile in a decent time, pretty consistent with what i've been doing lately 12:50. i knew that in order to maintain i really had to focus on every step. so i dropped my shoulders and continued to breath... a friend gave me a tip the other day. every time you feel like you're going to panic or back off your pace, take a deep breath and hold it for a second or two. then let it out in the rhythm you're accustomed to. it gave me the chance to collect myself and refocus. very helpful... as i continued the run tonite britt gave me half mile updates on my time and i seemed to be keeping a good pace, even with negative splits. at the end of the run when i'm most tired and really wanting to be done was when i felt like i needed to dig down and go for it. i sprinted the last 100 yards and made it in 32 min flat...
i can honestly say that i'm very proud of myself... i got my win.
the big day is rapidly approaching and i'm ready and excited...
looking forward to your thoughts... please share your experiences with me, cuz i need all the help i can get. ;)
so far this week has been a major success. not only did i run another 3.18 miles on tuesday and drop 35 seconds, i approached it with a much different mindset and was able to accomplish a huge goal. the first time i ran the 5k i had a total melt down at the half way point. i got to that rock and realized i had worked so hard to get there and now i have to go all the way back. that did not sit well with me and i panicked. so this last time i just wanted to get through it as relaxed as possible. i decided that i was only going to focus on what i was doing at that given moment. i was not going to look ahead with a sense of completion until i got to the end. it doesn't matter how i got there, just that i got there. each breath was necessary to fuel my legs with the energy to keep moving. each half mile i completed was another step closer to the goal but it only matter what i had completed up to that point.
i got to the end of the run and britt told me that i had dropped 35 seconds. what a sense of accomplishment. i had managed to stay calm and focused and get to the end and improve. awesome...
so tonite i lacked a bit of energy so i decided to back off my distance to get a win under my belt. i was tight and sore from tuesday. i completed my first mile in a decent time, pretty consistent with what i've been doing lately 12:50. i knew that in order to maintain i really had to focus on every step. so i dropped my shoulders and continued to breath... a friend gave me a tip the other day. every time you feel like you're going to panic or back off your pace, take a deep breath and hold it for a second or two. then let it out in the rhythm you're accustomed to. it gave me the chance to collect myself and refocus. very helpful... as i continued the run tonite britt gave me half mile updates on my time and i seemed to be keeping a good pace, even with negative splits. at the end of the run when i'm most tired and really wanting to be done was when i felt like i needed to dig down and go for it. i sprinted the last 100 yards and made it in 32 min flat...
i can honestly say that i'm very proud of myself... i got my win.
the big day is rapidly approaching and i'm ready and excited...
looking forward to your thoughts... please share your experiences with me, cuz i need all the help i can get. ;)
Sunday, October 10, 2010
okay people i'm posting...
wow! who knew that so many were waiting with bated breath for me to post again. it is true, i have been running. it's been a bit less scheduled then before when i began this journey. my life schedule has been hectic and i've had to really make a concerted effort to get out and run. when i get home from work i only have about 1 hr of light left and although i don't mind running in the dark i like to get started before the sun goes down. it's all mental and makes no sense...i know.
so here's all that's happened in the last month. i officially made it the distance. 3.18 miles completed this past tuesday in 40:30. the time is merely a benchmark and i remind all that are also trying this along with me that time should not be measured unless you can handle it. here's why...
i spent the better part of september rather frustrated with this whole thing. i was finding reasons to not run and i was disappointed after every run. there was no progress that i could see or measure. i run with britt and he was super frustrated with me. we sat down and talked about what was different or what why it was so tough. remember this summer when it was so hot you could barely breath sitting in your car with the air on? this was worst... we came to the conclusion that we had different expectations out of the runs and we were not on the same page. he was coming from coaching soccer and was in a very competitive mind set and i am not viewing this as a competition. as a coach myself i totally understood his thinking and we were able to regroup and refocus what our runs were going to be. i can't say it's not ever frustrating any more, but i know now that he is totally on my side and that his words are encouraging. i'm able to push myself harder now because progress is still a large part of my goal. but i ultimately had to let go of the time so i could use it to measure my progress.
so let's talk progress. i have tried something new. all in the spirit of getting out there and experiencing life. britt and i went mountain biking today. he really wanted to try it and found a trail really close to us. i was nervous but game. i can honestly say that had i not been running the last few months there is no way i would have been able to even think of doing this with britt. i am so glad that i have made the decision to open up my opportunities. it was very difficult and there were moments when i needed to stop and rest or walk or whine... but i got through it. i used muscles today that i didn't know i had. i could tell my legs were strong enough to handle it though and that made me feel really good. it was the unknown that gave me such an adrenaline rush. not something that i'm used to. not something that i'm comfortable with. pushing myself out of my comfort zone was the whole purpose of this mission to begin with.
i have seen progress in every day things as well. this idea that it doesn't matter how long it takes to get there, it's the getting there that matters. every time i get out there i have the opportunity to get there. it's a mindset that drives me and settles me every day.
only 3 weeks til the 5k. i'm getting very excited and yet the unknown makes my heart beat when i think about it. it won't just be me and britt running on the trail in the dark with no one around and no one to say "who's the big girl pretending to run". instead it will be hundreds of people all staring. or will it be like today... a community of people all running in the same direction just to get there. in 3 weeks i have the opportunity to find out...
so here's all that's happened in the last month. i officially made it the distance. 3.18 miles completed this past tuesday in 40:30. the time is merely a benchmark and i remind all that are also trying this along with me that time should not be measured unless you can handle it. here's why...
i spent the better part of september rather frustrated with this whole thing. i was finding reasons to not run and i was disappointed after every run. there was no progress that i could see or measure. i run with britt and he was super frustrated with me. we sat down and talked about what was different or what why it was so tough. remember this summer when it was so hot you could barely breath sitting in your car with the air on? this was worst... we came to the conclusion that we had different expectations out of the runs and we were not on the same page. he was coming from coaching soccer and was in a very competitive mind set and i am not viewing this as a competition. as a coach myself i totally understood his thinking and we were able to regroup and refocus what our runs were going to be. i can't say it's not ever frustrating any more, but i know now that he is totally on my side and that his words are encouraging. i'm able to push myself harder now because progress is still a large part of my goal. but i ultimately had to let go of the time so i could use it to measure my progress.
so let's talk progress. i have tried something new. all in the spirit of getting out there and experiencing life. britt and i went mountain biking today. he really wanted to try it and found a trail really close to us. i was nervous but game. i can honestly say that had i not been running the last few months there is no way i would have been able to even think of doing this with britt. i am so glad that i have made the decision to open up my opportunities. it was very difficult and there were moments when i needed to stop and rest or walk or whine... but i got through it. i used muscles today that i didn't know i had. i could tell my legs were strong enough to handle it though and that made me feel really good. it was the unknown that gave me such an adrenaline rush. not something that i'm used to. not something that i'm comfortable with. pushing myself out of my comfort zone was the whole purpose of this mission to begin with.
i have seen progress in every day things as well. this idea that it doesn't matter how long it takes to get there, it's the getting there that matters. every time i get out there i have the opportunity to get there. it's a mindset that drives me and settles me every day.
only 3 weeks til the 5k. i'm getting very excited and yet the unknown makes my heart beat when i think about it. it won't just be me and britt running on the trail in the dark with no one around and no one to say "who's the big girl pretending to run". instead it will be hundreds of people all staring. or will it be like today... a community of people all running in the same direction just to get there. in 3 weeks i have the opportunity to find out...
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